Have you ever felt lost?
Not in the, ‘oh crap, I should not have left my class group at the Royal Show to look at the puppies,’ kind of way.
I’m talking about the ‘I don’t feel like I fit into my world like I used to,’ kind of way.
There have been countless times in my life that I have felt disconnected from everything that used to feel safe and familiar- a little numb I guess?
Or sometimes I’ve felt like I’ve changed and I don’t really feel like me anymore… like nowhere feels like it used to.
In those times, my natural response is to try and find something drastic I can do to take control, or to feel something again.
My attempts always looked like me trying to drop out of school, wanting to cut all of my hair off or trying to start up a relationship again that I decided to shut down in the past- never a good idea by the way!
The way you deal with that numb and lost feeling probably looks different for everyone.
Sadly, our attempts often have consequences that will be with us for a long time, leaving ugly scars and regrets.
When I feel a bit lost and like I want to feel safe again; like I want to make drastic choices to change that, I have to remember a few things:
Who I am is fluid:
I have to remember that as I grow up, the things that have made me me, might start to change and evolve.
Some of the things that I identified as or the people I hang out with, won’t always stay the same. When those things change, I don’t stop being me, it’s just that I’m on a journey to find out who I am and there are going to be HEAPS of different parts to that.
I go through seasons:
There might be times in my life when everything feels a little numb and disconnected.
Sometimes it’s because my environment is changing, sometimes it’s because my interests are changing and sometimes it’s because I might need to talk to someone about getting some help.
We all go through seasons and seasons don’t last forever.
It’s not something to freak out about or to feel like it will last forever, it’s just something to ride out.
Riding it out might look like learning to be ok with change and a lack of control, or it might mean being honest and talking to someone who can help you deal with the way you feel.
If you need to talk to someone, we think a parent, teacher you trust, school chaplain or counselor are a pretty great place to start! If you don’t feel comfortable with them, here are some other good peeps!