Insecurities

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Insecurities

Insecurities are something that the majority of us have, but they just show themselves in different ways. Some insecurities rear their ugly heads as arrogance and douchy-ness, but are really just masking a fear of not being good enough, while other insecurities are straight up fear and you can see it a mile away. Both kinds need to be dealt with if you want to get anywhere in life.

I was super self conscious and insecure growing up, even into my first few years of uni. My insecurities were so bad that they stopped me from doing a bunch of normal things. An example of this that is SOOOO embarrassing is that I didn’t order anything from the canteen at my high school until Year 12, because I was so scared of going up there and not knowing what to do. Now I know, that is unbelievably pathetic, but that’s exactly what insecurities do, they prevent you from actually living your life.

Fear in whatever form it comes; fear of failure, fear of other people’s opinions, shame and anxiety, will ALWAYS make your life smaller.

I believe that one of the reasons so many of us deal with insecurity is because we are so darn self-obsessed. Now don’t get me wrong, I think it is important to be self aware and capable of self reflection, but when all we think about is ourselves, that is dangerous territory. It is very easy to fall into this trap, with Instagram and Snapchat and the media and all the other things we love to blame for the modern day problems we have. There comes a point though where we have to take responsibility for the people we are becoming and not hold onto those excuses anymore.

Self-obsession doesn’t always look like being overly confident and arrogant, sometimes it looks like obsessing over things and becoming anxious. Sometimes self obsession is an unhealthy focus on things like how big your thighs are, how small your muscles are, how big your pimples are, how that person looked at you sideways… *insert your insecurities here*

Take it from me, a recovering ‘self-obsesser’, this kind of focus will get you nowhere and is a slippery slope to eating disorders, exercise obsession, people pleasing, anxiety, depression and countless hours of wasted time, with lost opportunities.

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It’s also really lame to hang out with a ‘self-obsesser’, because all they want to do is talk about themselves, unable to see anything else…. Or anyone else.  

So do you want to hear how to stop self-obsession?
Are you ready?


Stop thinking about yourself.

Seriously, that’s it.

For whatever kind of self-obsession you have, stop focussing on yourself all the time.

A great way to think about yourself less is to find something bigger than yourself that you care about and invest into that. Sarah Silverman says “Mother Teresa didn't walk around complaining about her thighs—she had ‘stuff’ to do.”

*light bulb moment*

Maybe our issue isn’t always how to love the size of our thighs or how to be happy with what our follower to like ratio is on Instagram, maybe our issue is that we need to find some *stuff* worth doing…

If you are stuck for what that *stuff * might look like for you, then all you have to do is... FIND SOME PEOPLE TO HELP.

Who cares if it is your life’s calling or whether it looks good on your insta story, just find something bigger than yourself and throw yourself into it.

Trust me, you won’t have to look very far. There are plenty of people, organisations and causes you can help, all you need is a bit of time and a bit of care factor.

Now, I’m not saying that all of your insecurities will disappear overnight, some things we have to retrain our brain to think about, but spending less time obsessing over ourselves is a great start.

As Sarah Silverman pointed out, it’s hard to worry about whether you have a legit thigh gap or whether it’s only there when you pose on that awkward angle, when you are helping people who don’t know where their next meal is coming from!

Cass

Recovering Self- Obsessor and Founder of IZRA

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13 Reasons Why, Season 2 - tips for parents

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13 Reasons Why, Season 2 - tips for parents

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Today, Netflix’s notorious TV-series, 13 Reasons Why, comes out with a second season. After the profound cultural effect Season 1 had, particularly on young people and those with a history of mental illness, it is understandable that some parents may be feeling a little nervous.

We have yet to watch this season, so we are not certain of the content explored in Season 2. However we have a pretty good idea from what Netflix has shared, that the issues from last season such as suicide, sexual assault, bullying and violence, will continue.

One thing we do believe from quotes by the producers is that there will not be another suicide scene depicted. While it is a positive thing that such a graphic act will not be shown again, Hannah’s story will still play a strong role in the season and it is believed that Alex’s attempted suicide at the end of season 1 will be explored as well.

One of the greatest dangers of the show we believe, aside from the adult themes, is the fact that the entire season is made available at once on Netflix. Rather than watching an episode a week, where plenty of normal life can happen in between, the season can be ‘binge watched’ all at once. If we as adults can struggle with the self-control to stop binge watching our favourite show on a weeknight, when we have work the next day, then we can hardly expect teenagers to have more self-control and to moderate their exposure in the isolation of their own room.

Watching multiple episodes at a time in isolation, while sleep deprived, is a dangerous way for any young person to process the themes shown in 13 Reasons Why, so we recommend that restrictive measures are put in place to limit access to the show or internet.

While the series contains mature and adult themes, unfortunately it would be naive of us to assume that our young people are not already exposed to some of these issues through their friendship groups and school life. Depending on the age of your teenager and the boundaries already in place in your household, if they are old enough and determined to watch the series, we recommend that you find a way to play a part in their experience with some of the following tips:

1.     Help your young person understand that they do not have to watch the show. Provide the perspective that, even though everyone else might be watching it, the hype is probably only going to last a couple of weeks, but the images and experiences of the show could last a lot longer in their minds…

2.     Put a plan in place to ensure they do not watch the whole thing at once! Encourage your young person to keep their plans and commitments this weekend, or help them make plans so that they are not bingeing the series, especially at night. Perhaps you can agree that they’re going to break up the episodes by getting up and saying hi to someone in your house after each episode, or you could take them out for dessert randomly on Saturday night, or you could have the internet turned off at a certain time in the evening.

3.     Recognise that some of the things that happen in this series may not just trigger personal memories or experiences for your young person, but may also be a trigger for experiences their friends have been through and shared.  It is important not to downplay the impact their friend’s experiences can have on them, and still be there for emotional support or processing if needed.

4.     Encourage your young person to watch it with someone! Either you could show genuine interest in watching it with them (making sure you bring generous snacks with you!), or encourage them to find someone else that they can watch it with, like an older sibling or friend who will help bring moderation. That way, if anything gets a bit much and they just need to chat in the moment, someone will be right there.

5.     Do your research and go into your discussion about the show prepared. Headspace have some great resources to help and we produced a free Discussion Guide for the last season. If your young person makes a reference to the show, don’t pounce on what they said or them. Whether you are happy they are watching it or not, they don’t need your judgement in this moment, they need someone to process with and support them seeking further help if needed.

While talking about these issues is important, if you or someone you know is at risk, it is critical to get help from a professional resource or call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

 

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Failure

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Failure

I’ve always hated failure.

In high school, I became the master at avoiding anything that could risk me looking like a failure.

I booked doctor appointments on swimming carnival days.

I signed up for extra curricular stuff that could get me out of sports class.

Doesn't seem too harmful though right? Just getting out of sport in highschool.....

 

The problem is though, this avoidance of failure became a habit for me in every area of life. If I wasn’t 100% sure I would excel in something straight away, I would find a way out of trying it.

Sadly, every time you decide to avoid something out of a fear of failure, you shrink the boundaries of your life. When a fear of failure makes decisions for you, you stop yourself from learning some pretty valuable lessons that failure has to offer.

Now, people often throw around this question to try and inspire us to step out of our comfort zones, they ask, ‘what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?’

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This automatically positions us to believe that failure is bad and should stop us from trying things. When they ask that, we think of all of these amazing things we would do; the careers we would start, the people we could help, the dreams we would follow.

That’s all well and good to think about, but we know that failure if a part of life,. The reality is that if you ever find yourself in a situation where there is no risk of failure, it probably means that you’re not stepping out of your comfort zone at all!

I think a far more powerful question to ask yourself is, ‘what would I do, if I was the kind of person that failure couldn’t crush?’

If I could learn how to be resilient or strong enough to pick myself up after failure and take only the lessons I learnt, what would I do?

If I was someone who didn’t take failures on as part of who I am, what would I try?

 

We talk about this in schools all the time, because we believe that the way we see failure is going to be a game changer in life. It’s not your talent or personality or money that will determine whether you succeed or not, it’s how you bounce back from failure.

If you can change the way you see failure, then fear doesn’t determine the boundaries of your life and the stakes are lowered when you step out and try something new.

 

 

 

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Depression - 'THE AFTERMATH'

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Depression - 'THE AFTERMATH'

by Dakota Kenzig
I remember what it felt like, physically. People thought I was just emotionally struggling, but it was more than that. It felt like I was stuck in a wooden box. Like the ones they’d use on freight ships. Small, dark, only sometimes could I see glimmers of light between the cracks. But, the worst part about it was the feeling of suffocation. The oxygen was so limited, so much so I’d have to take small, shallow breaths just so I could preserve my energy. That’s the thing, people think you’re just sad.. But, it’s actually tiring. You feel so exhausted all the time and even the smallest task would wear you out.

I remember sitting for hours on end, asking myself what I had done to deserve this and what I could do to change it. Days seemed to blend together, colours soon appeared as shades of grey, food didn’t have a taste.. In the morning I didn’t want to get up and at night I didn’t want to go to sleep because I knew the next day would be exactly the same. I was so fixated on how I was feeling, I didn’t see how it was affecting my life and the people around me. My friends stopped talking to me, my mother was concerned, I was losing weight, I was sleeping all the time but I was always tired and I was failing in school. It felt inescapable, like I was trapped.

"For once, I could see a glimpse of the light and I didn’t feel hopeless, and it felt so good."

But.. Sometimes all it takes is someone to reach out their hand. I remember I was sitting with a friend and although I didn’t say anything, he could see just how much I was hurting. And then he took hold of my hand and said “Sometimes it helps to talk to someone. Its doesn’t have to be me.. Or your family.. But maybe if you talk to just one person, you might feel a little better.” For once, I could see a glimpse of the light and I didn’t feel hopeless, and it felt so good.

That night I started researching and I was so amazed to see that I wasn’t the only one. There were so many others out there, that felt the same way as me. For so long I had felt so isolated and this proved to me that everything I was feeling, was completely normal. It was more than normal, it was human.

That night, while researching, I found a not-for-profit organization that helped people just like me talk about how they’re feeling.

The first session I went to; I didn’t say a single word. I just sat there and cried. Which was something I hadn’t ever allowed myself to do. I thought I owed it to myself to find out if this was really for me. After all, it sure beat how I was previously coping. So, week after week I returned for my sessions.

Slowly, but surely, I was cracking open that wooden box I had felt bound to for such a long time. I could see the light; I could breathe again.

"If I’ve learnt anything from my experience, it's that nothing is permanent."

Now, let’s fast forward a few years. I’m a completely changed person. Now, I look forward to each day because I know there’s a new opportunity waiting for me. I spend my days doing things I love and with the people I love. I breathe so easily and I see the light in everything I do. I feel nothing but joy, knowing that I wake up each day a better person. Stronger, healthier and in control of how I feel. If I’ve learnt anything from my experience, it's that nothing is permanent. Pain is temporary and there is a life filled with joy, opportunities and experiences waiting for you. One day, you will look back and say to yourself “Man, if I survived that, I can survive anything.”


If you or a friend are feeling depressed or having thoughts about suicide, you need to know that many have made it through these feelings without causing harm and that there are people who care enough to help you. They aren't going to tell you that it's stupid or that you are over reacting-seriously, they wake up in the morning, SUPER KEEN to help people like you and they are GOOD at it. 

WHAT TO DO:

  • Get in touch with Lifeline- you can call them on 13 11 14 OR chat online from 6pm-2am.

  • Share with someone you trust – you shouldn't go through this alone. Tell them how you feel and that you are thinking of suicide. Ask them to help you keep safe. If they don't understand it, find someone who does.

  • If life is in danger – call emergency services 000

Or get some more info:

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Worry is a misuse of Imagination

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Worry is a misuse of Imagination

You were given this imagination, where you can create what doesn’t exist, where you can almost taste a reality so different to your present.

There are a million wonderful things we can do, places we can go, ideas we can create out of thin air with our imagination.

But what do we generally do with all of this power to create good? We make a long list of possible bad things that could happen and then we worry.

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Beauty isn't Threatened

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Beauty isn't Threatened

"You can tell who the strong women are, they are the ones you see building each other up instead of tearing each other down."

Today is International Women's Day.
We think there are so many wonderful things about being a girl, so many reasons to chuck a party and watch a chick flick. 

We think there is a pretty big thing that can make us girls go next level though! You see a lot of girls seem to be a little confused when it comes to understanding their Value and Beauty. Somewhere a long the line, we girls started to believe the lie that someone else's beauty is a threat to our own; that somehow if someone else is beautiful, that must mean we are not.

We know, it sounds really stupid when you say it like that... Just because one cake tastes good, doesn't mean another cake can't taste good, but when it comes to our own beauty, we believe the lie nonetheless. 

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Tragically, we feel so threatened by different expressions of beauty, we often either spend lots of time focussing on our own flaws, or feel the need to find flaws in others, to feel better about our own. 

A really cool thing happens though when we realise that someone else's Beauty or Value will never be in competition with our own, it is merely a different expression. 
When we start to understand that our value doesn't change, we feel totally free to focus on the good in others, without it threatening the good in ourselves. 

Imagine if we as girls felt free to build each other up, instead of tearing each other down. Imagine how confident YOU would feel if all of your girlfriends only built you and those around you up.

This International Women's Day, let's take a minute to remind ourselves that our Beauty and Value is never threatened by others and that you have the power to influence whether the girls around you are built up or torn down. We know which one we think is stronger! 

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Conflict

I'm sure we've all been at a place where the situation feels too sticky to go back to.

Of course I am talking about our old friend conflict.

I can often recall myself thinking back.. Was I actually right? Was the other person right?

Does it actually matter who was right?

One of my less finer moments I can recall was with a teacher. I had been caught red handed in year 7 spreading vicious rumours about other people in my class. SCANDALOUS!

In the moment- I was so desperate to find someone else to pin it on. Someone else who made me do it! Someone who blackmailed me and forced me to do it because I was being held against my will. Unfortunately my life was not an episode in NCIS. I really had no line of defence, or even someone else to blame. It was simple. It was me. I was the problem. But I never would have admitted it at the time. Who would?

Through experience I've come to see that as people, we are pretty rubbish when we are all fired up. I was great at getting fired up to prove I'm right. Sometimes it's a teacher, sometimes it's a parent. And sometimes they are wrong.

But most often we find, the battle is inside of us. Yes, we may be disagreeing with someone, but what's stopping us from letting go of wanting to be right all the time? Where to from here? If we face a situation or a person how should we respond?

Here's some tips:

1. Find your cold spot: Pulse racing? Volume increasing? Maybe it's best to remove yourself from the situation. If you can't remove yourself from the place or away from a person, maybe take some time to find your mental cold spot. That place where everything is great, and you're on an island sipping a coconut. Find that place where you can relax.

2. Take some time: However long you need to remove your thoughts from the "I am right, they are wrong" mentality- take that time! You won't be able to be diplomatic in your actions or words when you're still thinking about that stuff.

3. The balance: Ask yourself, is my relationship with this person/people worth more to me than this disagreement?

4. Time to talk: Don't leave the situation or person guessing on whether you're still cool with them. Go back, talk to them in person and be super clear about how you're feeling. If you need more time, be honest.

5. Be close: When we learn to work through a disagreement and we actually make it through- we become closer to those we once disagreed with. We learn to work better with the people around us, and we start to see how different we are from each other. And different is okay. You are never going to be the best at everything, so you need a team around you who can compliment you in your strengths and weaknesses.

Hope this helps you navigate some disagreements. And remember, often the biggest battle is inside you.

 

Tim Jenner

Social Worker and Chaplain Extraordinaire 

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How To Read Your Friends and Understand Yourself Better

If you clicked on this article with the hope that by the time you finished reading this you you would have mind-reading telekinesis powers, unfortunately, you’ll have to take your search else where…

But don’t be disheartened! You don’t need neurotechnology or telekinesis to understand the 'why' behind people’s 'whats'. Through education and a proper understanding of human nature, you can begin to see things you will never be able to not see again.

Even from a first impression, you’ll be able to rearrange a person’s Metallica tee, top knot, or crocs, and all their other features, into an informing insight about who they are. But the benefit of being a good people reader is not just being able to send your bullies insane. It’s actually being finally able to understand yourself better. When you can understand your own weird ways and the odd reasons you do things, you’ll be able to challenge yourself and improve who you are.
Then, you’ll be able get into less drama with friends and family because you’ll understand why they are like they are.

Sold yet? Well, this all sounds a bit too good to be true. But I’m not saying you can learn this skill by tomorrow. The trick is that we are sometimes too attached to our own thoughts, emotions and biases, that we cannot understand other's thoughts, emotions and biases. You must learn the art of arranging your thoughts, not as who you are, but as files to be read, analysed, determined whether helpful or unhelpful and either discarded or used. What I mean is: you’ve got to be able to think about … thoughts! about what you did, and if it was right or wrong under the circumstances.

That ability is a precious gift. Why? Because being accurate in your perceptions of your own and others behaviour is the key to locating deeper philosophies that guide our lives. But the first step is education.

And the first lesson is contained in the wise words of Shrek himself. Because people, just like Ogres are like onions. That's right, some people, like onions, some people when you make them cut, you make them cry. But more importantly, people like onions, have layers. Because people think a lot. What are the layers then? They are thoughts that over the years we have chosen to believe in and live by.

Problem is, we often react to people’s rough outer layers, when we need to be able to listen to inner thoughts that are the reasons behind behaviour. And it’s 'whether these deeply personal thoughts or beliefs are functional or not’ that fills our gossip, funds our research and divides our families.

But, if we can learn to understand these inner reasons we cling to, we can also challenge them and move our lives forward with love, grace and respect.

 

Dylan Goode

Psychology Major, Theology Graduate, Counsellor, Bassist and polished Super Smash Mario Brother

 

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LOST

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LOST

Have you ever felt lost?

 Not in the, ‘oh crap, I should not have left my class group at the Royal Show to look at the puppies,’ kind of way.

 I’m talking about the ‘I don’t feel like I fit into my world like I used to,’ kind of way.

 There have been countless times in my life that I have felt disconnected from everything that used to feel safe and familiar- a little numb I guess?

 Or sometimes I’ve felt like I’ve changed and I don’t really feel like me anymore… like nowhere feels like it used to.

 

 In those times, my natural response is to try and find something drastic I can do to take control, or to feel something again.

 My attempts always looked like me trying to drop out of school, wanting to cut all of my hair off or trying to start up a relationship again that I decided to shut down in the past- never a good idea by the way!

 The way you deal with that numb and lost feeling probably looks different for everyone.

Sadly, our attempts often have consequences that will be with us for a long time, leaving ugly scars and regrets.

When I feel a bit lost and like I want to feel safe again; like I want to make drastic choices to change that, I have to remember a few things:

Who I am is fluid:

I have to remember that as I grow up, the things that have made me me, might start to change and evolve.

Some of the things that I identified as or the people I hang out with, won’t always stay the same. When those things change, I don’t stop being me, it’s just that I’m on a journey to find out who I am and there are going to be HEAPS of different parts to that.

 I go through seasons:

There might be times in my life when everything feels a little numb and disconnected.

 Sometimes it’s because my environment is changing, sometimes it’s because my interests are changing and sometimes it’s because I might need to talk to someone about getting some help.

 We all go through seasons and seasons don’t last forever.

 

It’s not something to freak out about or to feel like it will last forever, it’s just something to ride out.

 Riding it out might look like learning to be ok with change and a lack of control, or it might mean being honest and talking to someone who can help you deal with the way you feel.

 If you need to talk to someone, we think a parent, teacher you trust, school chaplain or counselor are a pretty great place to start! If you don’t feel comfortable with them, here are some other good peeps!

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YOU belong here

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YOU belong here

Feeling a part of something, like you’re meant to be there, is one of the best feelings in the world. 

 

That might be your basketball team, your group of friends, your family, or your band. Whatever that group or thing looks like, knowing that you are meant to be there, that those people get you and that you have a part to play, helps you get through a lot of other things that aren’t so great in life.

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If you are a human, you probably know what it’s like to feel like you don’t belong somewhere though….

 

That feeling is really crap- actually, it’s worse than crap, but we try to keep our language decent around these parts, so you get our drift yeh? 

 

Feeling like it wouldn’t matter if you disappeared, like no one would notice, like they might even be glad if you weren’t there, is pretty depressing.

 

While some of us may feel that way at school or in our group of friends, some of you may feel that way about your life in general.

 

You might be going through a time in your life where nothing seems to fit right, not school, or home, your friends or your job; you don’t feel like there is anywhere you fit or belong. Like no one actually gets it.

 

If that’s you, we want you to know that you do belong here; that you have a part to play. The future is unknown, but it has a spot for you in it- YOU belong here.

 

It can be easy to kind of give up and give in to the thinking that everyone would be better off without you and that you will never find where you belong.

 

It can seem simpler to retreat into yourself, put up walls and not share what you’re going through; what makes you tick. That is definitely the easier option, BUT the easy road never leads to the really good spots.

 

There are going to be plenty of spaces where you don’t 'fit' in life, but there will also be some that you do, people who get you – YOU belong here.

 

Life isn’t going to go to plan and some things will disappoint you, but there are also going to be some amazing moments; moments so great that you could never have concocted them in your head, they are worth sticking around for – YOU belong here.

 

Even if it doesn’t look like it now- YOU belong here.

 

The future is unknown, but it has a spot in it for you, it’s worth sticking around to see what that spot is.

 

YOU belong here- don’t ever let yourself believe otherwise.

 

If you find yourself thinking suicidal thoughts, that doesn't make you weird and it doesn't mean that you're supposed to follow through with them, it just means you need a little help right now. Check out our article here and chat with someone you can trust, like your school chaplain, a parent or some of our friends below.

 

 

 

 

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Never make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings

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Never make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings

“You can' trust your feelings. You just can’t trust the volume of them.” Dr Deborah Kern

Aka - Don’t do anything crazy when you’re all worked up in the moment’.

Our feelings are often our biggest motivators to make a change.

Your feelings probably sound like "Right, that's it!, I can't take it anymore." or "I am never going back there again."

The problem with this is, that we can’t always trust our feelings, our emotions and our thoughts.

Emotions are very real and there is no doubt that you feel that way in the moment, but the truth is, the height of our feelings and emotions aren’t always based on fact and don't always reflect reality.

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We are big belivers in the fact that just because you think it; just because you feel it, doesn’t make it true and doesn’t mean it is final.

Maybe your girlfriend broke up with you and you feel like no one is every going to like you again. That hurt and pain is real, but it doesn’t make it true.

Maybe you fumbled BIG time in your rugby game and everyone yelled at you. You feel like the biggest idiot and like you will never get that play right, but that doesn’t make it true.

We have to recognize that feelings come and go and take that into account next time we want to make a decision based on how we feel.

Because we at iZRA get what it’s like to be very emotional people (trust me, sometimes there is more drama in my head than a Kardashian wedding), here are some checks that I’ve put in place to stop me from making permanent decisions based on temporary feelings:

1. If you feel the same way about a situation for even 2 whole weeks, no changes, no doubts, then maybe it’s time to talk to someone about making some serious change.

Growing up, I would always change between wanting to cut my hair off and wanting to have it super long- like every week. So my Mum made a rule that if I wanted to cut my hair off for a whole month, then I could do it at the end of that time. If I changed my mind at least once in that time, I had to start counting again- my hair stayed long. Basic example, but it can save you from BIG mistakes. 

2. Have someone who can tell you when you’re letting your emotions run wild.

Find someone a bit older than you who you can trust and who you can be really honest with; someone who generally makes pretty good decisions. It might be an older cousin, a teacher or a chaplain, someone who isn’t afraid to tell you when you’re being a bit of a drongo. Make a promise to yourself that you will always run big decisions by that person first, whether it’s getting back with that ex, getting a tattoo or quitting your favourite sport because you’ve had enough.

3. Remember, 'just because I think it, doesn’t make it true'.

Your feelings are valid and real, but they are just that, feelings not fact.

 

Hang in there! 

 

But sometimes it's a little more serious….

If you, or someone you care about, is in crisis and you think immediate action is needed, call emergency services (triple zero – 000), contact your doctor or mental health crisis service, or go to your local hospital emergency department. Do not leave the person alone, unless you are concerned for your own safety.

To speak to someone immediately contact the beyondblue Support Service on 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline 13 11 44.

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Friend = Superman? Oh heck no!

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Friend = Superman? Oh heck no!

Sometimes being a good friend doesn’t mean you have to save the day or be the answer for all of your friends’ problems, it just means being there and offering suggestions of who to talk to when they need.

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It’s not your responsibility to decide whether what they are feeling is real or serious, you just need to let them know that you are there for them and that while you don’t have the answers to help, there are people they can talk to.

You also don’t need to feel guilty about not helping enough. As a friend, there isn’t always a lot you can do, apart from being there and letting them know you care.

Sometimes when people are in a bad place, they can want to blame people – that doesn’t make it your fault, it just means they have things to work through.

Other times when people are in a bad place, they will want you to be more to them than you can, it’s like they want you to fill the holes and solve the problems. No one person can do that for them though. The best thing they can do is chat with an adult they trust who can help them work through some of the things going on in their life.

You might recommend they chat with a chaplain, teacher, counselor or parent. If your friend feels they don’t have anyone in their world they can chat with, we have a couple of people we think are pretty darn ace at talking through things and getting help!! 

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"You are not only your pain."

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"You are not only your pain."

" If you struggle with self-injury,

you are not "a cutter"

you are a person. 

You are not only your pain, 

you are not only your wounds and scars.

You are better things. 

You are possibility and promise,

hope and healing, daydreams, 

favourite books and favourite songs. 

You are the people that you love

and the people who love you.

You are hope and change and things worth fighting for. 

This is all your story, 

and your story isn't over. "

Jamie Tworkowski - To Write Love On Her Arms 


If this is something you struggle with, we think one of the best things you can do is talk an adult you trust about it- seriously, getting the help you need is brave, not weak. 

It might be a chaplain, teacher, parent or someone like that. If there isn't anyone in your world you feel you can talk to, we reckon you should chat with one of our friends below!



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Anxiety- When it's more than a little worry

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Anxiety- When it's more than a little worry

We all worry about things-

Is Mum going to find that rotten banana at the bottom of my bag and make me clean it out?

Will Mum and Dad stay together? 

Is that guy going to pick me out and embarrass me in sport again today?

 

Sometimes this worry can be a bit more intense and consuming though, as you become anxious.

You know when your hearts starts beating faster as you open that exam paper? 


Your breathing speeds up and you fill with adrenalin?

Those feelings generally fade away after a minute or so as you calm down, but for some, those feelings can happen multiple times throughout the day and sometimes for no apparent reason. 

Anxiety can feel hard to control and can stop you from being involved in everyday life.


If you feel this way, it's not something to be embarrassed about, but it's definitely something you should learn more of and talk to someone about.

You don't have to live with it forever and if left untreated, it can become all consuming and make everyday living difficult.


This is a link to a page all about anxiety; what it means, how it happens and how you can recover with the right support and treatment.

Remember, getting help is BRAVE, not weak. 

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